Dukes of Melrose: Schiaparelli, Chanel and Good Times in NYC

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This week, Dukes of Melrose tied up their first season with another double-header. It's clear from the get-go that Decades proprietors Christos Garkinos and Cameron Silver are still ruminating on their failed San Francisco pop-up shop, especially now as the duo is planning another to take place in New York City. They've timed it to coincide with the Schiaparelli Met Ball, and the shop will feature new and vintage items as well as "Schiaparelli-influenced" dresses. Marcus, dressed in a tiny tank and Billy, in a black studded sleeveless leather vest, are prepping boxes of goods to truck across the country for the event. Everyone's nervous because not only are they shipping a ton of merchandise worth a great amount, but they're working with a tight timeframe.

Christos squeezes in a quick closet visit at DJ Sky Nellor's place, where he walks away with all his favorites—Alaïa, Tom Ford, Chloé (the Phoebe Philo years) and Bottega. Then, it's on to the pop-up in progress where, of course, something has gone wrong. One box, the most important of all containing the Schiaparelli-influenced gowns (Schiaparelli, Schiaparelli, Schiaparelli—just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?) hasn't show up and Marcus is blaming operations manager Jarred, who sent it ground instead of express. Major oops.

Cameron, meanwhile, is nestling up to the hearty bosoms of actress Jennifer Tilly, who he's dressing for her opening night on Broadway. They day-drink champagne and Tilly squeezes into a gorgeous Dior Haute Couture tea-length black dress.

Back at the pop-up, Christos and Marcus track down the errant box and then Sandra Bernhard of all people walks through the doors to shop. She's a tough customer and basically hates everything that Christos is pulling for her." Finally, they settle on a Louis Vuitton number that resembles a nurse dress. "I haven't heard 'no' that much since Nancy Regan said, 'just say no.'" Christos sighs.

While Christos sweats, Cameron is consulting with designer Nicole Miller, who will be making him a custom tux for the Met Gala and who he will be escorting for the evening. "I'm really looking forward to my date with Nicole," he says. "I gotta get a mani, a pedi...I better pick up some Magnums." Yes, it's all fun and condom jokes until Cameron shows up to the pop-up and finds out about the box debacle. He blames Marcus, who was overseeing the whole thing, and then gets into it with Christos. They have a nasty spat in front of the children, again, and both storm off.

The second and final episode picks right up at the end of the prior. Cameron's got some sort of fabulous date to keep, and he's off, while Christos remains at the store. Motivated by the fact that Cameron has already sold Decades' one Schiaparelli design to the house of Schiaparelli for a cool $24k, Christos vows to top him with sales from the three-hour VIP preview. It goes smashingly well, and they net $28,000 in sales. "I almost screwed three girls to have them buy a dress," says Christos.

Cameron continues his tour of fabulous New York with a visit to the home of a socialite named Barbara De Kwiatkowski. We have no idea how they were first introduced, but Barbara is right up Cameron's alley. She was a longtime model, a muse of several designers and hung with Warhol back in the day. She's got an impressive closet and she's excited to share it with someone who will appreciate it. Unfortunately, Barbara doesn't want to part with any of her museum-quality pieces. The duo spend the afternoon fondling clothes and talking fashion, and Cameron leaves having developed a friendship.

It's the second day of the pop-up and things are going well for Christos. He's paid a visit by a client visiting from Chicago and her husband. They have an affinity for Chanel and Christos is practically salivating, for good reason: He sells them $19,100 of designer clothes and accessories. Holy hell.

Now feeling flush, Cameron and Christos daytrip down to New Hope, PA for some sort of bizarre, underground fashion auction. "It's held in, um, a fire station and it's a great place to get a ham sandwich on Wonderbread," is how Cameron describes the event. While the setting may be pedestrian, the auction usually serves up serious couture. C&C sit down and start bidding. It's all fun and games until the auctioneer pulls out a Balmain dress. It's black, strapless, mermaid, beautiful. The bidding is frenetic.

What's this? Christos finds himself actually enjoying the auction. Though they have to walk away from the Balmain, they do nab a Schiaparelli cane which features an impaled, sparkly blowfish. It'll be perfect for Cameron's walk up the stairs at the Schiaparelli Met Gala (you can see it in action here). "Do you feel like a crystal meth addict?" Cameron asks Christos about his auction experience. "I totally do," he replies. "Which is nothing to laugh about," Cameron says. "It's destroyed peoples' careers. And teeth."

They end their trip having sold $89,000 worth of clothing and spent about $20,000 at auction. Back in LA, the duo ruminates on their partnership. "We argue, we fight, we have fun, we bicker but in the end, we love each other," says Christos. "Like a ball and chain," says Cameron. And...scene.
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· Dukes of Melrose: A Dreary Trip to San Francisco [Racked]
· All Dukes of Melrose Recaps [Racked]