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Couture. Couture. Couture. Chant it three times and instead of waking up in Oz, you'll likely land in the equally wacky world of Melrose Avenue boutique Decades. This empire is run by Cameron Silver, the self-proclaimed "King of Vintage," and Christos Garkinos, the "Robin Hood of Fashion." Garkinos is Silver's newly-crowned
queen business partner and much of the first episode of the duo's new Bravo reality TV show, Dukes of Melrose, deals with the merging of Garkinos' contemporary designer consignment shop with Silver's vintage dealings.
"Christos is incredibly cheap. I am a spender, I'm always maxing out my credit card," says Silver, a contrast that plays out over the course of the episode. Silver proves that he's nowhere close to a hard-nosed negotiator when dealing with socialite Patricia Kennedy, who is offering up two haute couture gowns from her closet for sale. Behind closed doors, he and Garkinos agree to offer just $10,000 for the set, and then he ends up buying only one for that price. Oops. To pay for the expenditure, off goes Garkinos on a consignment job, pulling clothes, shoes and bags to sell from wardrobe stylist Tracy James.
Next up, it's a fitting for the Independent Spirit Awards with comedienne Rachael Harris. Instead of buying something, Harris (under Silver's watch), finds the perfect dress on the back of one of Silver's assistants. They lend it to her free of charge. Harris and Silver are happy, Garkinos is less-so.
So it seems that Christos is the straight man to Silver's bedazzled-cape-wearing, Paris-jetting fashion maniac, though both have some great quips throughout the episode. After the jump, some of our favorite lines from the premiere.
5. "The two scariest words that Cameron can say to me are 'hautecouture. purchase'."—Garkinos
4. "You know you're A-list when someone poops for you."—Silver
3. "LA stylists have the most amazing wardrobes. They have amazing hookups in the city, they know all the personal shoppers, they're the true it girls. And I am one of them. I am an it girl."—Garkinos
2. "Don't be so stressed. Take an Ativan."—Silver
1. "I'm going bowling on Sunday to help gay sheep."—Silver
· Dukes of Melrose [Bravo]
· Bravo's Showdown Week 1: Will Brad or Rachel Come Out on Top? [Racked N'tl]
· Bravo's New Decades Series Finally Gets a Name and Date [Racked]
· The Way We Wore Lands a Six-Episode Series on Smithsonian [Racked]