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Confessions of a Beverly Hills Esthetician

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Salon workers are with us at our most exposed. And they've seen it all. We've asked one veteran of the Beverly Hills spa scene to share her stories. It's Confessions of a Beverly Hills Esthetician.

Image via CityUnlisted.

Recently I went spelunking in a strangers' ass with a fist full of wax. Don't get me wrong, I did it for money. Being a massage therapist/esthetician at an upscale spa means you have to be ready for anything. Demanding, smelly, scared, hairy, scarred, veiny, mean, sweet, creepy, cheap, generous and randy clients. But seeing and working on all kinds of bodies has made me more comfortable in my own body. Everyone has insecurities and everyone who comes in just wants to be taken care of.

Body hair is the bane of my existence. I have been waxing my own legs since I was twelve. I didn't realize how difficult it actually was for other people until I was lying spread-eagle with a classmate's shaky, unsure hand coming at my vagina. I will admit genitals were hard for me to learn as well. I guess I feel bad about causing someone pain. My friend, who also happens to be a client, says her body goes into fight or flight mode. She starts sweating profusely as if her body is saying "let's get the fuck out here" but she is paying me for the pleasure. And yes, all vaginas look different. To help you guys through this ordeal, here are some tips and answers for your waxing inquiries.

· Ladies if you have your period just let me know. Don't try to hide the tampon string in your vagina. I will see it and all I want is a fair warning.
· Try and shower or at least do a quick wipe in the restroom before I make bare your lady cave.
· If you are very sensitive ask your esthetician if she could use hard wax for your Brazilian. It hurts less and causes less irritation but does take a bit longer.
· If you really can’t handle the pain, take a pain reliever an hour before you come in.
· When getting a Brazilian consider leaving the top part, which is usually the most painful place to wax. I can even shape it like a nice tidy triangle, or a goblet, or even your partner’s initials. It doesn’t hurt to ask.
· Please make sure your esthetician wears gloves and doesn’t double dip the waxing stick. She should be using a fresh stick for each application. Do you really want a pot full of wax with other ladies' business in it on your lady business?
· Men, when I am waxing your balls please don’t stare at my face, it's creepy. Yes I wax balls.
· Men, expect to pay more. Balls are a bitch to wax.
· Men be warned. I have been told by a few male clients that getting your ass waxed makes your farts louder. Yes you read that right. LOUDER.
Most of my male clients are gay but some, like my 60-year-old regular, are straight. He comes in every six weeks and loves me. He goes right to the room, gets into position and lies there pantsless waiting to talk about his family, his wife and the classes he teaches. He tells me I remind him of his daughter as I tell him to pull his scrotum as tight as he can so I won't rip his skin.

When I do these things I think about what all of us do to please or attract others. I tell my clients getting a wax will get them laid and it usually does because: A. No one wants to waste money and B. It makes people feel more desirable and others pick up on that. I have learned while working on all of these women and men that it ultimately comes down to how you feel about yourself. I asked my 60 year old why he does it. He said it makes him feel sexier with his wife. And I thought right on. I know I love how amazing every touch feels when you are waxed and how it makes me feel desirable and turned on and yes somehow skinnier. I know I am not the only one. Touch is my favorite sense. Being touched, touching others, getting things ready to be touched, or touching you with my words which are pleasantly fondling your brain privates right now. So get out there. Get massages, facials, waxes or whatever you like to do to pamper and take care of yourself. Just remember to tip the person working on you. We typically make 30% of what the spa charges. We take care of you so please take care of us.
· All Beauty Week Coverage [Racked]