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Oh brother. Simon Doonan apparently just sold a new book called Gay Men Don't Get Fat, a tweak on the wildly popular French Women Don't Get Fat. Doonan's book, presumably written for straight women, is "a stylishly slimming discourse" that will show how adopting a few relatively innocuous habits can help women onto the lifelong path of svelteness. But Gawker writer Brian Moylan posits that the real reason gay men don't get fat is the very French menage a trois. Unlike their breeder counterparts who can let themselves go to pot after marriage, "?gay men have to get buff, get married, and stay buff. Why? Because of three-ways, obviously. I'm going to let you in on a little secret: There are countless committed gay couples out there who like to either play on the side or invite guest stars into their beds. And you're not going to get any A-list guest stars if you're giving D-list torso with a four-star gut." Um, yeah, we love them both to death, but we don't really want to know what highjinx Doonan and hubby Jonathan Adler get up to. [Gawker]