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We Put Celebrity Fragrances to the Test

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The recent proliferation in celebrity vanity scents is almost incomprehensible. Ok, we KIND OF understand Beyonce, and even Katy Perry. But Jennifer Aniston? Paris Hilton, Kate Walsh, Daisy Fuentes, Khloe Kardashian + Lamar Odom, Eva Longoria, Sarah Jessica Parker, Donald Trump, Halle Berry, Heidi Klum, Celine Dion, and the one that makes us craziest of all, Kim Kardashian, whose non-career only exists because of the high profile leak of a sex tape in which she let a dude urinate on her?

Answering the question "WHY?" is pointless. But the real salient question was if there was a meaningful difference in any of the scents -- i.e. would Jennifer Aniston's scent be the equivalent of taking a whiff of her essence, which you would expect to smell radically different than the Katy Perry scent? Or is it the case that celebrities just slap their names on the bottle? We took it upon ourselves to figure this out. With the help of our friend Steve. Welcome to the latest installment of We Did It For Science.

The subject: Steve is a straight married guy. He's manly, but evolved enough to appreciate subtle differences in something distinctly feminine like perfume. Though he has probably never visited TMZ.com a day in his life, he has a pretty good working knowledge of contemporary pop culture.

Method: We administered a "blind taste test." Steve was not actually blindfolded, since that would have seemed really weird and most likely would have resulted in us being asked to leave. But he stood behind a pillar and could not see which scents he was being subjected to. He was also given a list of celebrity names, then asked if he could identify which scent was supposed to represent which celebrity.

Location: Target and Macy's in the Glendale Galleria.

These are our findings.

Britney Spears
Steve: This smells really sweet, overly floral. It smells pretty trashy. Is that Britney Spears?

Beyonce
Steve: It smells hot, a little spicy. It's pretty complex. Not bad. I would remember someone who wore this. I'm not sure who it is. I'm going to guess Mariah Carey.

Mariah Carey Forever
Steve: Very floral. Girly. Not too bad. I have no idea. Maybe Celine Dion?

Shakira
Steve: This smells like the most generic perfume ever, which makes me think it's Jennifer Aniston.

Faith Hill
Steve: It's mildly sweet, but honestly, it doesn't really smell like anything. This has got to be Faith Hill, right?

Tim McGraw
Steve: It smells like another cheap aftershave, except more obnoxious. Is it Diddy?

Rihanna
Steve: It smells like?it's pretty terrible. It smells like bourbon and flowers. Is it Katy Perry?

Kim Kardashian
Steve: That's some strange shit. It smells like you poured brake fluid into a milkshake. It's what a fem-bot probably smells like. (Yet, for all of this, Steve could not stop huffing the sample.) My guess is Mariah Carey.

Jessica Simpson Fancy Love
Steve: It smells sweet. Like cheap cake. Is it Britney Spears?
Racked: No, you already smelled that.
Steve: Jessica Simpson?

Queen Latifah's Queen
Steve: It smells dirty and nondescript at the same time. I have no idea of who it could be.

Paris Hilton
Steve: It smells light and on the young side, maybe a little cheap. Don't you know anyone else who actually knows something about perfume?
Racked: Well, you don't, and that's the whole point.
Steve: Random guess, Paris Hilton.

Conclusion: Based on a very small sample size, we posit that only a few of the celebrity fragrances have anything whatsoever to do with the figure who supposedly inspired them. But apparently if you want to smell like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or Jessica Simpson (i.e. people who are almost caricatures of themselves), knock yourself out and by a namesake scent.
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Colorado and Brand, Glendale, CA