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Project Runway Top Ten: Macy's Gives Us the Blues

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And now, comedy writer Bonnie Datt counts down the top ten moments of greatness from this week's Project Runway.


Images via Lifetime

It's week seven of Project Runway, and the designers are given the challenge of making two outfits for Macy's younger, affordable INC clothing line. The twist is that all the fabrics they use must be blue. Not since Violet Beauregarde turned into a giant blueberry in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has there been such an exciting fashion design assignment. Our designers are thrilled to learn that the winner of this challenge will get to design a garment for INC's holiday collection. They are less pleased to find out that they will be working in groups of two, as this is a team challenge.

Team leader Louise over-confidently picks Nicolas as her partner, even though he has immunity after his improbable win last week. We can only assume that she is unaware of the fact that every time Nicolas opens his mouth, he coughs up a fur ball. Another team leader, Irina, who never met a designer whose work she didn't insult, asks her colleagues which of them would like to team up with her. Gordana accepts, and spends the rest of the challenge regretting it. Ironically, Epperson goes from being in a hate/hate relationship with his former challenge partner Qristyl, to a love/love relationship with his new challenge partner, Christopher. But they shouldn't count their Valentines yet.

Happily, our judges this week include the prodigal Michael Kors in all his snarky glory. The judges' top two favorite teams for the week are the duo of Sharin and Carol Hannah, who seem to be the only designers who have ever actually seen INC's clothing, and the team of Irina and Gordana. Despite co-creating some of the week's top designs, this season's punching bag, Gordana, is unjustly criticized once again. Meanwhile, her partner, the ruthlessly bitchy Irina, lands her second win. Sadly, the sweet yet overwhelmed Louise is sent packing in this season's most telegraphed aufing.

And in our "As Tears Go By" count, shamed golden boy Christopher gives us our seventh and eighth crying jags of the season.

Now for our top ten moments of runway greatness:

10). Louise loses her fabric money and design sketches at Mood. Unfortunately, she finds them again.

9). Tim Gunn says "Don't get me started on leggings" in a manner much like Elie Wiesel might say "Don't get me started on Nazis."

8). Christopher declares that he and Epperson "reinvented the shirt dress." If "reinvented" means "Made it look hideous and totally brand inappropriate," then sure, they did.

7). Louise coos like a bird while she works. Frighteningly, it doesn't seem affected.

6). For the third challenge in a row, Althea's designs demonstrate a dire need for the show to add a Victoria's Secret Wall of Brassieres.

5). Louise tells Logan, "Your sewing machine does not like you," possibly making it the only entity in the Project Runway world that isn't crushing on the designer.

4). The normally inscrutable Michael Kors hates Louise's dress so much that he actually starts to shake his head "no" as it comes down the runway.

3). Althea says that since many of the designers have big personalities, it's nice to get away from all that drama and work with Logan. Because Logan has no personality.

2). Michael Kors describes Epperson's design as "a teal charmeuse disco pumpkin." Michael, we don't care how orange you are. We're just glad you're back.

1). The show gives us a sneak peak at Irina's holiday dress design for INC. If you're in the market for a cheap-looking disco outfit festooned with a giant sequin butterfly, then Irina has created just the look for you.

· Project Runway Top Ten: We Miss Nina and Michael [Racked]
· Project Runway Top Ten: The Iron Ate My Paper [Racked]
· Project Runway Top Ten: Revenge of the Models [Racked]

Michael Kors

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